Saturday, May 3, 2008

Will Act for Food

What happens when you take a bunch of out of work actors and introduce them to Tunguska Blast!? That's right friends, we're making a movie. Why you ask? Because we can.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Tunguska Fact #10

An obese woman lost 100 pounds in the year after she started drinking the Blast. Coincidence? Maybe. But seeing as I've lost four pounds over the last three weeks or so I'd just like to say Richard Simmons eat your heart out.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Clap Your Hands!

It's Eugene playing the ukulele!

Tunguska Fact #9

Tunguska Sample Respondent #47 forwarded the following to the database yesterday:

Hello. This is sample pack #47. At first I was apprehensive about the product, maybe it was a mental block regarding the effectiveness of Tunguska. However, after taking The Blast for three days I am calling to report my firm and regular stool activity. I no longer have any blockage. Thank You.

Interesting. And really, couldn't we all use a little help from time to time getting things going (so to speak)?

Monday, April 21, 2008

Tunguska Fact #8

The Perfect Swing:

Three days ago Eugene went golfing with his buddy Bill. On the third hole, Bill commented about how relaxed Eugene's swing had become over the past two weeks or so, to which Eugene calmly replied, " Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course - the distance between your ears", and with that tossed a sample bottle of the Blast to Bill and pared hole nine.

After the game, Eugene and Bill retired to the clubhouse for a post game cocktail and a little light reading from the Tunguska Blast! magazine. Bill stumbled upon this next bit of writing, accused Eugene of cheating and walked out. Eugene just settled back into his seat, took a swig of the Blast, and smiled.

Tests on thousands of plants throughout the Tunguska River Valley showed accelerated growth and dramatically enhanced nutritional values. Soil studies have only partly explained this phenomenon, indicating that intense heat appears to have concentrated soil nutrients to a greater richness than even volcanic soil.

Science has harnessed that remarkable environment to grow and harvest a proprietary Tunguska formula to:

  • Boost your energy and stamina
  • Support your immune system
  • Increase your mental clarity
  • Enhance your physical performance
  • And much, much more!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Tunguska Fact #7

It has been brought to my attention through the acupuncturist that introduced Eugene to Tunguska Blast! in the first place, that several women, who prior to drinking the T-Blast, have been unable to achieve the blissful peak of orgasm have now discovered a multiplied state of satisfaction in their sex lives, if you know what I mean. The women who have never had this particular problem but are drinking Tunguska Blast! all the same, are having a rather enjoyable time going over speed bumps while riding the bus to work, if you catch my drift. This may or may not be a result of the effects of Tunguska, but regardless, here are two things that I do know to be true a) I've had an extremely self gratifying week, if you're picking up what I'm laying down, and b) don't knock it till you try it.

Please e-mail for a free sample.

Thursday, April 17, 2008


My father sent me this link. He believes. You should too.

Also, this is Eugene tap dancing because he's so happy.

Tunguska Fact #6

Last night we all went down to the corner bar, had a couple beers, drank far too much whiskey, and stumbled home at a quarter past two. This morning I was up at the sound of the alarm fresh as a spring daisy, well rested, and with zero hangover, zero.


Tunguska Fact #5

When Eugene invented Boboli he asked his sister if she would like to be involved in creating the tasty recipe. 31 years later and she is still baking. However, due to the fact that she has spent the majority of her adult life surrounded by breads, cakes, and cookies, she has developed a rather severe allergy to flour. She has been seeing an allergist for four years now and spends about $400 a month on various treatments and remedies.

A few weeks back when Eugene noticed that he didn't have his usual allergic reaction to the four cats at Mark's house that were pouncing all over his belly and nesting in his lap, curiosity got the better of him and he decided to send a bottle to his sister to see if she might benefit from the effects of Tunguska Blast!. She received the bottle along with a Hallmark greeting card (Eugene thinks Hallmark cards are hilarious) via first class mail the day before she had to complete an order of 13 double layer cakes for the local Mason Lodge's annual gala.

Before she went to sleep that night, Eugene's sister took a shot of Tunguska Blast!, brushed her teeth, and kissed her husband goodnight. The next minoring she woke up well rested and alert. She had breakfast, watered the geraniums, and went to work. Mid afternoon her husband stopped by the bakery, as he often does, to say hello. He noticed immediately that her usual rosy rash that covers her arms without mercy when she working with flour was missing. That was three weeks ago. Eugene's sister is still on the blast, has broken up with her allergist, and is having the best sex of her life (which is really just any sex now that she not covered head to toe in a gross rash).

If anyone would like a sample, please e-mail

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Tunguska Fact #4

Off and on over the past decade, I have worked as a barista for various coffee shops and cafes across the country. As a result, I have a fond affection toward coffee. Some have told me that I have an addiction but I've always preferred to think about my caffeine eager habit as more of a stimulating hobby than anything else. I've been drinking the T-Blast a little under a week now. Yesterday I noticed that I forgot to have my morning pot of Major Dickason's Blend. It then occurred to me that it had slipped my mind the day before yesterday too. This morning I woke up determined to get my fix only when I reached for the grinder I realized that I didn't want any coffee. I already felt alert and awake, ready to conquer yet another day in the rat race. The score stands Tunguska Blast! 1, Coffee 0.

I love you gene.

Tunguska Fact #3

There are some real gems of testimonial behind Tunguska Blast! and this problem. Cheaper than Viagra. I'm just saying.

Erectile dysfunction
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Erectile dysfunction (ED or (male) impotence) is a sexual dysfunction characterized by the inability to develop or maintain an erection of the penis. There are various underlying causes, such as cardiovascular leakage and diabetes, many of which are medically treatable. Nerve trauma from prostatectomy surgery can cause chronic erectile dysfunction.
The causes of erectile dysfunction may be physiological or psychological. Physiologically, erection is a hydraulic mechanism based upon blood entering and being retained in the penis, and there are various ways in which this can be impeded, most of which are amenable to treatment. Psychological impotence is where erection or penetration fails due to thoughts or feelings (psychological reasons) rather than physical impossibility; this can often be helped. Notably in psychological impotence there is a very strong placebo effect.
Erectile dysfunction, tied closely as it is to cultural notions of potency, success and masculinity, can have devastating psychological consequences including feelings of shame, loss or inadequacy; often unnecessary since in most cases the matter can be helped. There is a strong culture of silence and inability to discuss the matter. In fact around 1 in 10 men will experience recurring impotence problems at some point in their lives.[1]
Folk remedies have long been advocated, with some being advertised widely since the 1930s. The introduction of the first pharmacologically approved remedy for impotence, sildenafil (trade name Viagra), in the 1990s caused a wave of public attention, propelled in part by heavy advertising.
The Latin term impotentia coeundi describes simple inability to insert the penis into the vagina. It is now mostly replaced by more precise terms. The study of erectile dysfunction within medicine is covered by andrology, a sub-field within urology.

Tunguska Fact #2

Last night I went to a T-Blast party. Everyone in attendance was questionably a bit eccentric but otherwise likable. Halfway through the evening, this white bitch I've posted here brought up health insurance like it was a casual conversation topic amongst the crowd of artists and non-union actors. It was revealed that each and every single person who was taking Tunguska Blast! last winter during the flu season remained healthy and well rested and never once got sick. Eugene even took up racquetball.

I've changed (my very costly) health insurance from a co-pay plan to deductible plan because I believe. If anyone would like a FREE sample of the T-Blast please e-mail:

It would be worth your while for comedic value alone.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Tunguska Fact #1

Eugene is no longer allergic to cats. It's true, I've seen it. I suppose it's possible that at age 50 he has outgrown an allergy that robbed him of a gleeful childhood, but it's more likely that it's the effects of Tunguska Blast!.